Loneliness and Two Months On

Funny how recently I've been thinking about living alone in an empty nest and feeling lonely. Sure, I am accustomed to living on my own way back home when my family started to grow, become adults and leaving home to find and settle into their own nests. I am used to living by myself then and enjoy solitude but now  times of loneliness hit me. I grew up in a big  family with boisterous siblings surrounded by relatives mainly our step aunties and uncles and cousins far between. It was fun being around with them and I miss them all. As I get older, times brought us to many places, knowing many faces, and childhood dreams were butchered, gutted and splintered.

I did not understand loneliness or depression. But I felt that negative emotion when I thought I would never get out of a place where my future was looking doomed and prosperity was next to impossibility.Still life had to be lived with contentment otherwise my soul would be totally depleted.

I wanted to pursue a higher education so I can help my family. There was no school nearby. Someone offered me scholarship in exchange for working with them but my parents took it negatively because it came at a price of losing their face, their ego, their pride.

Don't get me wrong. I love my parents very much. Even in their imperfections as I am not perfect either, they were the kind of parents that we, their children, would never trade for anything. They were irreplaceable. Their philosophies in life were practical and to which I found helpful as I applied them in my own personal journey.

Three years into a solitary confinement, a new addition in the family arrived, my daughter and husband's own flesh and blood - no less than my Granddaughter.

Yes, she does provide me delight and joy when I am with her. She fills the void in my life. I would say as being with her and observing her when we are alone together- she reminds me of how exactly my two daughters were when they were babies. I am very proud of her as I am very proud of my girls. I am blessed having raised them.

I wish I can take her home with me to fill my empty space. 

Today, she is two months and five days old to strictly follow the order of days, of weeks in chronological order. That's how my daughter aligns herself in following the pattern of her baby's growth.

To me, she is far too advance in her age of two months. She is alert, kicks, coos and mumbles. She smiles, she laughs and looks at objects long and focused. Mind you, she is patient too when feeding time lapsed by the minute. She cries a bit but can be persuaded that her feed is coming soon.

The only impatience she sends signal to is when a nappy change is looming. No, she wouldn't wait a second for that trite inconvenience. I cannot wait for the day when she will finally give me her first embrace by putting her two little arms around my neck.

She is the most loved baby in the whole wide world (just a copy cat from my girls' words).

Some recent photos I took of her. You may click to enlarge.

 Quiet time

Beautiful bluish eyes

Communication ungapped

The baby's first church attendance in the regular venue where we congregate for the Sabbath Service.

 Getting ready for the bath

Loving her bath

Gandmother Time

Bassinet Contentment

Happy long weekend everybody and thanks for the visit. Be safe.

Cheers!