Getting Closer as Time Draws Me Nearer Home

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” ~Victor Hugo

Last May 28, 2011, I blogged about My Journey Home. Four months and four days on today, that day is almost here. Soon I'll be under the mercy of four wings and prayers. This time, there will be no curious child to sneak out into the cockpit for a piece of cake! It's definitely going to be a solo sojourn; to the woods, mountains, sea and the city and back! Back to my old customary retreat! My shoebox I called home!

After some unexpected and exhaustive activities in the past, I managed to get everything in order. There were meeting up with friends, dinner here and lunch there. Shopping, packing and clearing up. There were running around, walking about, and traveling far out to the country and out of town and even beyond! At home, there's the everyday woman's job that never ends: washing, cooking, cleaning not to mention computing if I can squeeze a time. I am merely referring to Facebooking!

In adjunct to walking about and social outings, there's photography. Then blogging, poetry and grandchild minding. Occasionally, there's malingering and febrile excuses coming in between. There's health concern and I refuse to take it as health issue as I thought it was in the beginning. As it turned out, everything was a myth and not medically founded so I was told. Even the GP's diagnose was contradicted and questioned. That can happen between medical professionals. Medicine is not a science but an art. Hence, where there is doubt, a second opinion is sought.

The truth is, I am still  having pain in my wrist. All the doctor could tell me was he can't do nothing about it. So I am trying very hard to forget it. Forget that it's there when it gets painful. When it does, I just drop everything down and rest. As simple as that! Yeah, as simple as that! What else can I do?

Many hours ago, I was contemplating to write this long overdue blog. There were far too many chances of putting this off, being laid on the table for obvious oblivious reason.

However, I seemed to be in my writing mood this morning. My imagination hovered like the wasps on the wall outside, perched by a nagging enthusiasm. That alone has stimulated my mental activity atrophied in time due to uninspiring events that eventuated between now and then. Kindled by that imagination I started brainstorming in front of a bowl of cereal. Bowl of cereal? And why bowl of cereal? What has it got to do with my going home? My trip? My journey in flying away home to a far away land? To another world, once my world?

As I held the box of cereal in my hand I read the health information thoroughly. The main cover says: Be Natural! Of course, that's just the label or brand of the cereal I am having. It has a picture of a seed surrounded by plants and flowers and people creatively formed as in a drawing using the five whole grain flakes mixed with cashew, almond, hazelnut and coconut with linseed, pepita and amaranth clusters. Below that, there's a spoon lying filled with grain flakes and nuts. No artificial colours, flavours or preservatives. And I am not paid to plug this advertisement via my blog. I am just reading. Oh well, I can let them know what I am doing to their product. Maybe they will send me eternal supply until I die? What a wishful thinking! Take note Be Natural!

Staring at this box in front of me while eating my breakfast cereal, here I began my imaginary journey home. Yes, it's getting closer as the time draws me nearer to my country of birth. How much the long years of patient waiting have fortified my deep longings for my country and family coupled with curiosity wondering what's going on in there? Twenty-three years of long absence no doubt have paved the way to mammoth changes in terms of infrastructures, economy, geography, the people and culture among the many things.

In front of this cereal box, I pondered in nostalgia how my life has changed over the years! From eating corn grits, the poor man's rice to rice itself as our staple food; here I am in another world eating different kinds of staple foods that include wheat, barley, rye, oats, triticale and all kinds of nuts which many of them I have had never encountered before. Take the case of Triticale.  According to the information, Triticale is a cross between wheat and rye that is commonly used in bread, cereals and pasta. There you go! I love Rye bread due to its distinct earthy flavor. Its aroma is sweet and tempting that it makes you want to sniff even you're a hundred miles away from it.

At the back of the box, I read short cliches such as "Be happy, be real, be relaxed and be yourself!" Now that's what I need! To be happy, real, relaxed and be myself!

Though this cereal box already contained linseed and almond, I still supplemented it with a spoonful of ground linseed, almond and sunflower seeds under another brand called Natural and is marketed by macro wholefoods market, a trademark brand of Woolies Australia. Though I'm generally frugal in my ways, I am beginning to seriously consider my well-being as am now ripening towards the sunset.

After a near heart attack scare, heart pain, palpitations and high cholesterol level in the past, I step back to analyze my diet which is not really tragically toxic as my meals are quite simple. Probably it's just the age catching up with me along with worries of things unimaginable. So from a diet course to exercise .. is all it takes to consider my health and my soggy emotion that I learn to sponge out. Excitement, overwhelmed feelings and others are now completely banned from my system. Since I am good at self-hypnotizing, that's how probably it works well with me.

The barnacles of health worries are cleared and now I am happy to be back to my old self, my self- confidence and positivity intact that I once had have. I let the others worry for me. Freedom from getting too emotional and getting too excited is much enjoyed than before after I learned to understand my own self better. When temptation tends to incline to be strong and overridden with excitement, I simply have to just stay cool and collected. It's not that easy but with practiced discipline it can be achieved without drama. Think about this:

Thought for Today

"Wellness isn't about deprivation, and it's not about perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest potential, and then taking small steps to support that shift. It's about showing up for yourself, day by day, and then one day finding that you've undergone a transformation." ~Kathy Freston

And isn't that true? I found this supplementary quote just then when I opened my subscription page from Oprah dot com Spirit Newsletter. So timely it couldn't come in the right moment.

As I have done the things I needed to do, it's time to say, "now I can put my feet up!" After that long absence away from home, my longing to set sail and fly away truly deserves a break of a lifetime. It's travel time again! Home, here I come!

"The soul of a journey is liberty, perfect liberty, to think, feel, do just as one pleases." ~William Hazlitt

So fitting indeed!

Woodrow Wilson's words might also fix a semblance of achieving my goal in going home.

"I have had the accomplishment of something like this at heart ever since I was a boy.... So I feel tonight like the man who is lodging happily in the inn which lies half way along the journey and that in time, with a fresh impulse, we shall go the rest of the journey and sleep at the journey's end like men with a quiet conscience." ~Woodrow Wilson 

"And this is what I have accomplished: my plane ticket and my passport!

"The LORD went in front of them in a pillar of cloud by day, to lead them along the way, and in a pillar of fire by night, to give them light, so that they might travel by day and by night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people." ~ Unknown Author

Closer to Thee my Father draw me

I long for Thine embrace

Closer within Thine arms enfold me

I seek a resting place

Closer with the cords of love

Draw me, to Thyself above

Closer, draw me,

To Thyself above. 

Gallery: The Famous Maria Cristina Falls

Photocopyright to my cousin Editha Sabando-Arabe (Nang Diday), FB

Sing my way home at the close of the day
Sing my way home drive the shadows away
Smile every smile wherever I go
It will lighten my load
It will brighten my road
If I sing my way home!