Tears of joy and tears of sadness go together when you are in a state of mixed emotion. When I feel overwhelmed about a certain thing, a certain event and a certain situation or circumstance akin to my own life and to something I can relate with; I am easily moved and that will be eventuated with a lachrymal flow so fast at work. I have that skin onion sensitivity that never fades away in the strength of time.
The Insignia
Last Sunday, I watched the second season's last episode of Australia's reality TV show, Masterchef. It was the only time that I really appreciated just how much interesting this program had been.
The cooking was great and so were the recipes cooked out by the contestants. They were all competitive, inventive, creative, funny and just have that fantastic flair of culinary intelligence in the environ they quoted as "unglamorous".
Watching the Grand Finale where a 31 year old Lawyer was pitted against a 22 year old University Student, both came from South Australia, was exciting, thrilling, heart-stopping, gripping and mind-blowing in its phenomenal sense.
Adam and Callum
The final competitors were of different ethnic backgrounds, have big age gap and different intellectual pursuits. They met across this huge isle after isle Masterchef kitchen. Both deserved to be in the final - sharing the same passion, humility and enthusiasm in cooking.
They competed in three rounds of categories: Basic Skills (mainly identifying herbs, fish, cheese among others); Cooking their own recipe and finally, the Pressure CookerTest whose recipe was a Masterpiece of the famous Quay Restaurant Chef Peter Gilmore: A Guava and Custard Apple Snow Egg!
Each one of them was given a recipe and was required to prepare four servings (for four judges) in three hours! One approached the final round in haste and the other one approached it, though shaky, with care, precision, calm, composure and maturity. The success of which would decide their Fate who was going to bag the Title as next Australia's Masterchef!
In between, the viewers were taken to the off-the-scene interview where the young man confessed that he took the reign of home cooking from his mother when their father passed away. He was only very young when they lost their father.
When this man (the father) was still alive, he lost his job that he hated. So he left a legacy of advice to his son not to work on a job that he will not love. One day, the boy worked in a restaurant to help his mother and family. In that job, he showed much interest and enthusiasm in learning how to cook; always asking questions to augment his knowledge in cooking. While the competition was well in progress, he was dubbed as the male counterpart to a "doyenne of dessert".
What struck me as a parent was his late father's advice to him. That brought me back to a memory lane where my eldest daughter and I had a heart to heart talk one day regarding her future. A future that could only be brightened if she would give her heart to her studies that of course would require hard work. Not necessarily to top the class but by just being diligent. I knew she has great potentials. I have faith and trust in her.
Sadly, she opted her own mind not to care much about studying. She was in her teen and like any other girl of her age, she too was plagued by her own inner distractions. Both my girls reasoned out that they were not as smart as me. I was taken aback by their compliments but I told them my secret formula as a student in my time was simple: diligence!
My daughters are both vocal. I allowed them to speak up their minds. I encouraged them to be open to me and to tell me what's in their heart and mind especially if something troubles them. In their teenage years, our relationship was more of Friends without compromising my parental authority and losing respect towards me as their mother.
Because I always motivated my girls to do well in their studies as I knew they have more chances to win a bright future, my eldest girl asked me why I was like that to them. I answered, 'because I came from a country where education is only for those who have the money. And that our parents believed the importance of education as a portal to success in life. And that our government never helped the poor people the way the government here help the students gain free education."
Take note: there is a great difference between motivating and pushing. No, I did not try to push them. Despite my motivations, they were not moved and it did not work even if I set myself an example when I went to TAFE College to do a course and, modesty aside I did earn few Distinction marks in my subjects. That was stopped though when a full time job called me due to our family needs here in the city. As they were growing so were our financial demands: school, bills, and unpredictable family expenditures.
Back to the Masterchef. Needless to say, one of the contestants won. The crown was bestowed to the Lawyer of course! He has far more better experience compared to the little guy who exceptionally showed brilliance in his own terms.
The Winner: Adam
I cried of joy for both. The young fella was granted a Culinary Scholarship in one of the famous restaurant in Melbourne and some money to use for his transition exigencies plus he would receive a salary as a Working Scholar offered by one of the Judges. What a generous gratuity it was from George!
Adam and Callum
After the program I rang my daughter in Canberra. I was in tears when I spoke to her. I told her how I remember what she told me long ago during the course of our heart to heart talk one day.
What she told me was:
Mum, it will be easy for me to please you. I can study as hard as I can and excel in my studies the way you want me to be just to make you happy. Then as I weighed myself out, alright, I can be a Lawyer or a Pharmacist whatever and work and become successful the way you envisioned yourself of what your dutiful daughter would be. Then I asked myself, will I be Happy?
Is this the career I really want for myself? My future is my Life. My own life to live! So can I just decide for myself what to do with my life?
Please think about it Mum and do understand me.
In that instant, I was muted. I was speechless. I was not angry. I listened as I watched the pain etched through her facial expression. I kissed her and hugged her to let her know that I understood. Was I let down by her? In a way, but her opinion and feelings mattered to me most. And I respect her inasmuch as I love her.
Yes, I realised she was right. Like I said, I encouraged my girls to be open to me and to tell me what's in their heart, what's on their mind. (This never happened all the time anyway). They also have had some reservations of what to tell me.
My daughter who was on the other end of the phone asked,
Mum, are you alright? Why are you crying?Her question brought me back to my present state. Still in my weepy voice,I went on to explain that
in those times, I was worried as a parent, as a mother. My only concerned then was I didn't want you (my children) to go off the rail, to go off the track, if you know what I mean.I want to see them live a decent and dignified life. That's my only legacy I can leave them when I'm gone. I have no chest of treasure to give them before I go. Only pure simple teaching of the principles I learned from my own folks.
My children who also are independently strong like me, have done me proud. The foundation I laid them has paid off.
There were still tears of joy and tears of sadness when I replaced the phone down to its cradle.
Photo Credits: Goldcoast Masterchef 2010 Gallery
Note: Permission has to be sought yet.
You are a good mother and an understanding one! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are a good mom. I never could have made that call. I was so afraid of my parents' expectations and their response to me if I disappointed them. I learned early to cut and run. Later, I learned to stand and then to walk. God bless you.
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